Day 24 of #30daysofme

Day 24 – a letter to your parents.

If I were to be brutally honest with this one, it would take me the best part of a month and I suspect that it would not be particularly interesting to most people.  Perhaps I will just do the abridged version.

*****

Dear Mum

I do love you, despite what you seem to think.  I just have trouble letting go of so many memories, and I find it hard to forget things that have happened.

I miss you and I do think of you everyday, but I still don’t think that I am strong enough to be in contact with you.  I still have too many unresolved issues that I want to bring up and you don’t want to talk about.  I also feel as though I can’t handle the bullshit.

I suspect that you see a lot of my Dad in me, and you resent me for that, as he has hurt you so badly in the past.  But please remember, that I am not him, as much as I may remind you of him.  And just because you don’t want anything to do with him, doesn’t mean that I don’t, he is still my Dad and I love him too.

I hear that you are happy and are finally with a man who truly loves you and cares for you.  I am so happy that you have found that, you deserve a good and happy relationship.  You always say that life is too short, and that is true, but it doesn’t make all of the past disappear.

I love you

Ange

*****

Dear Dad

I appreciate how much more we have been sharing as the years have progressed.  There are things that we talk about now that I would never have thought that you would have been able to discuss with me.  And even though I’m living my own life in a different town, I still feel as though I am part of the family, just living elsewhere.

I would like to see your marriage become a little healthier, I think you both need to learn to talk to each other without bickering all of the time.  I think that may have a bit to do with why the girls are often arguing, and I think it has a lot to do with how disrespectfully Prue speaks to and treats Carol.  She copies you so much.

You’ve always been very dependable, and you would do anything for your family.  You have given me a very strong work ethic, and impressed on me the importance of being reliable and consistent.  I know that you will always be there for me, no matter what.  I’ve been able to make my own way in the world, and although you may have tried to dissuade me from some of my decisions, you’ve always been there to back me up.

Love Ange

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